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  • Writer's pictureMarina V Parrish

Ashley Madison and our society view on marriage

99% of divorces are related to sexual incompatibility, remaining 1 % because one of the partners is bipolar. Trust me, people do not divorce for any other reason. First comes the sexual chemistry lacking, next comes communication problems, for the obvious reasons. All other problems in the marriages, including financials, are the result of the prior two: domestic violence, cheating, fraud, bankruptcies, etc. Uncontrolled or suppressed hidden sexual urges is what leads to all above.

After watching Netflix series I had to admit to myself I had an account there, while being married, but never went on any dates. I was afraid. Both to cheat and to date, to be honest. I was just "looking" at other people. Doing something in the heat of the emotional moment is not something I do. I planed every small details of my life since I was about 19. So, doing something like this is not my style in general. But I do admit my first divorce at the age of 24, was a result of the unsatisfied sex life, that could not been fixed. We did not have a necessary mutual physical chemistry to continue pretending to be happy. I was not interested in sexless marriage. All other issues in our divorce steamed form just that. To another extreme example, I was actually married to my second spouse twice ... Because we could not refuse our sexual chemistry, even after we fought with each other, and other people could not fill that void. My spouse had many dating apps on his phone, but I never bothered to look. I had them to, yet never ever communicated with anyone.

It's like a piece of candy or chocolate bar, you have in a work draw, in case you even get upset.

I think most people refuse to admit the main marriage issues, and continue living a lies.

Why people can not communicate such a things? Can you make two people with no physical attraction toward each other stay married and be happy? I am sure church and religion can do it.

But are they really truly happy or just used to fake it and ok with that? It's not the cheating of the partner that leads to heartaches, it is inability to accept and admit your own desires, that does.

They admitted majority of their clientele were militaries or government emails. Why? Military law

is different from civil.

"Military law regards infidelity as a serious offense, punishable under Article 134 of the Uniform Code of Military Justice (UCMJ). Infidelity is defined as any sexual activity outside of a valid marriage, including adultery, fornication, and sodomy. The military takes a strict stance on infidelity, considering it a breach of the trust and discipline required of service members."

"The military defines adultery as “unlawful sexual intercourse between two persons not married to each other, one or both of whom are married.” This includes situations where one or both parties are married to someone else, or where the parties are in a legally recognized domestic partnership. The punishment for infidelity in the military can range from non-judicial punishment, such as a letter of reprimand or extra duties, to court-martial and potential discharge from the military. The severity of the punishment depends on the circumstances of the infidelity, the rank and position of the service member, and the impact on the unit’s morale and discipline."

Did you know the legal sexual consent under military law is 16, not 21? Understandably they would make a majority of their clients. Where else can they look for sex, if not on dating site for married couples. Both parties in this case are looking for privacy and not interested in being exposed. So, it makes sense, but what about laws? How do two collaborate: between civil and military? ...



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